An Open Letter to the City of Pittsburgh
I have been a resident for two and a half years. You have helped me attain an education in affiliation with one of the best psychiatric hospitals in the country and your dirt cheap housing prices allowed me to buy a condo for a quarter of what it would cost in my beloved DC. Although not my preference, I find it endearing that people speak “[Pittsburghese|http://www.pittsburghese.com/]” and that a “Pittsburgh salad” is a salad with french fries on it.
The bridges are pretty……
It’s also nice to be in a city where people love their football team…. a lot.
However, we must have a little talk about the weather situation. Snow is very pretty, I will agree. And Dippy holds a dear place in my heart. He is so handsome yet he only wears his signature scarf in the winter.
But the weather service tells me the following:
“LOW PRESSURE WILL TRACK ACROSS THE OHIO VALLEY TONIGHT. SNOW WILL INTENSIFY THROUGH THE EVENING. SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF TWO TO FOUR INCHES CAN BE EXPECTED.
BEHIND THIS LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM BITTER COLD ARCTIC AIR WILL MOVE INTO THE REGION THURSDAY AND REMAIN INTO FRIDAY NIGHT. THE COMBINATION OF COLD AND WIND WILL BRING WIND CHILL READINGS FROM 15 TO 20 DEGREES BELOW ZERO.
A WIND CHILL ADVISORY MEANS THAT VERY COLD AIR AND STRONG WINDS WILL COMBINE TO GENERATE LOW WIND CHILLS. THIS WILL RESULT IN FROST BITE AND LEAD TO HYPOTHERMIA IF PRECAUTIONS ARE NOT TAKEN. IF YOU MUST VENTURE OUTDOORS… MAKE SURE YOU WEAR A HAT AND GLOVES.”
Now, it’s very nice of you, Pittsburgh, to try to help me prepare for Antarctic conditions. Running in snow, cold and wind may be beneficial. This being said, conditions in Antarctica are expected to be a downright balmy 10 to 30 degrees Fahrenheit with a little wind and possible snow flurries. Not even snow, just flurries. So, dear city, please back off and warm up so that I can train in warmer temperatures that will more accurately reflect what running will be like on Antarctica without putting myself at risk for frost bite and hypothermia.
I appreciate your consideration,
PS- Go Steelers!